To start the year off with a victory, I just published "A Butterfly"! It's my newest game, interactive poem, horror and (butterfly) flight sim.

This last year has been bumpy, sometimes rough. As many know, I moved to Europe. That took a lot more work than anticipated! I'm over the moon right now. Proud to say that I finished something despite everything else that was happening.

These ruins of a lighthouse have brittle bones.
Ocean once surrounded it. You know the stories...
Of a great beautiful oasis where titans came to die.
Grief brought you here.
Now you are trapped in an endless cycle, on a world that is lost to you.

https://alienmelon.itch.io/butterfly

This last year I spent a lot of time traveling to different events that I was invited to. It's been inspiring to see how the indie game space is doing here. I was able to attend A MAZE for the first time, and BlueSuburbia even won an award!
While I speak of 2024, I also have to share that TIER Review published this "We Still Believe Nathalie Lawhead" piece, which has become a source of comfort for me to turn to when I still get harassed by journalists. Unfortunately BlueSky has become a new venue for some of them to continue doing that there. I don't want to go getting depressed about that here so I'll leave it at that. I really hope initiatives like TIER grow. I hope all the journalists that still do support me do well and don't get punished for it. I really really hope that the good people get a chance to outshine it all.
More positively speaking, one of my pieces was included in GameDeveloper's Best of 2024 Blog roundup. I'm grateful for that.

I still go back and forth between being depressed about how the indie game space in America is doing, and hopeful that the one here is healthier. The lack of support in the US makes it hard. I don't think events in the US ever really bounced back from the pandemic. It's almost spooky to me to see the difference between how the two are doing. It's night and day. I keep meaning to write a post about my time at all these events. Hopefully I'll find time!

A Butterfly is intended to be part of the new BlueSuburbia update, but I'm releasing it separate because it's perfectly good (and big) on its own.
The story is really metaphoric... about loss of self, grief, and letting go. You can read a lot into it. For myself, it's about parting with your past self. Letting go of your form. You are forced to. You don't want to.
In a way acceptance is a type of death, especially when you have to come to terms with loss.

In "A Butterfly" there is a story in two layers. The primary layer is the poem. You collect ghost-like butterflies as you search the landscape. When you find one, it gives you another piece of the poem. This is read out to you in a stylish glitchy way.
It's built like this to tie into how Bitsy interaction works, so it's like you are experiencing the play between 2D and 3D in a more seamless way. One extends the perspective of the other.

The second story layer is in the form of short browser based interactive pieces. These are given to you as Decker, Bitsy, and Pocket Platformer games. These you find more at random. Every time you find one it progresses through the days that you have been trapped in this world. Gradually growing more desperate and willing to let go of yourself.

A Butterfly takes place in a very large open world desert. The scale is huge because you can fly around and explore all this perspective. I love how games scale from big to small... so I tried to capture that grand overwhelming feeling a bit.
I adore surrealism in video games. I think the default state of video games are to be surrealist, strange, unsettling... just weird. We put a lot of work into making them not so. Making them more real, cohesive, comprehensive... So I think there's something beautiful in leaning into their surrealism. It's beautiful to let them be weird, and let people experience that weirdness in a channeled directed way.
I painstakingly modeled all these giant statues that you can fly around, exploring flowers, marveling at the sea of bones... It's sad and melancholy.
The lighthouse has a story. You can uncover all that.

I think it turned out beautiful. About 90% of the audio is generative synth, using Unreal's Meta Sounds. Infinite, never repeating, wind and desert ambience is a good mood.
A Butterfly very different to what I usually do. This is more slow, dreamy, ethereal. No humor, just the seriousness of transformation.

On BlueSky someone told me that they are too disabled to really play games therefore they like watching streamers play games. This being how they experience them. I never really thought about that aspect. Going forward I will release a silent full play-through of my games, so that people who can't play them can still enjoy them.

You can play it for free on itch.

If it makes a $100 I'll put it on Steam! I've played good horror titles on Steam that where about as complex as this one, so I think this could fit in with everything else on there. I hope it reaches the people who would enjoy it. I put a lot of heart into it. It's something I'm proud to say I made.

Moving on... I'll update BlueSuburbia with this. You gain your ability to fly if you visit this world. After that, you can fly around the spaces, not just walk. That should give you an idea of where BlueSuburbia is headed... As you visit poetry worlds you gain ability to interact with the rest of the worlds in a new way.

There's lots to do now with "flight proofing" the spaces that exist already. I hope to have more to show soon!

Thank you everyone that played it already, and appreciated it!